ToCreate.Art.blog

I’m always trying to find peace, a constant peace, that I can hold onto throughout my day. Looking outside myself to capture that rare phenomenon. With that being said, I’ve had some weird things – epiphanies, maybe – happen to me over the course of the past couple of months and I want to get them written down before I forget them.

Plus, some of the insights I’ve gained, or even had confirmed and reiterated, may be beneficial for someone else “out there” to know or hear again.

Here is a story of my first, recent, “understanding”.

One day

Not too many weeks ago, I was outside (taking Bella for a potty) and doing some very serious thinking, as I usually do.

This time I was actively seeking guidance from something… Something out there, whether it be karma or nature or the souls or energies, or whatever they are, meandering around us.

A Question

As I was about to come upon our little buddha statue we have watching over our apartment, I just started to question, how can I continue living what this life has been for us these past few years, the addiction cycles and my back surgeries and constant pain, for examples – it was more of a feeling than a specific question, but I was directing my thought at the little buddha statue.

Note, there wasn’t anything bad that was happening at that time, but the potential for those years is always on my mind, and I’ve been so close to quitting it all.

An Answer

Upon thinking that thought to our little buddha statue, and even before I finished my thought, I immediately heard find peace within.

Understand, reader, that what I “heard” did not come from an outside source, such as the buddha or the wind. And I did not hear a voice in my head speak those words. It was just a clear thought that intruded my current thought-in-process, as if I’d thought those three words on my own.

Find Peace Within

As as I put together the specific words of that return thought, I instantly knew what those words meant for me.

Find peace within.

My Peace

I’ve “found” painting recently, not quite two years ago. And through painting, I’ve discovered a unique feeling that I had not experienced before. A sort of meditative state from the existence of what is happening beyond the boundaries of me, whether physically or within time.

Painting has also allowed me to detach from the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-anticipating caretaking role I took on towards my husband, the active/recovering/active addict.

Find peace within.

A very simple concept, but so hard to hold true to its enormous meaning.

One can only find happiness from within. The satisfaction from living life more fully, no matter how difficult its trials are, can only be found within one’s self.

I believe the peace I find while painting is the peace that I need to cultivate outside of the act of painting.

The One Place to Find Peace

Finding a sense of peace within my Self.

When I think about it, isn’t that where anyone’s happiness is – within one’s self? And only within one’s self.

My husband or my pet, my kids, my mom – these people, I can’t make them happy; they can’t make me happy.

How Easy Is That?

It isn’t.

Back To Reality

There are so many real-world variables involved. Work being one of them. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I do not have that variable at this time. It has been replaced with disability. Which isn’t as easy to deal with as working, really. Not mentally, not for me.

Family, money, traffic, grocery shopping, bills, the kids, the in-laws, sports, vacations, debt, worry, affairs, the Jones’s,… whatever that obligation/expectation/distraction is for you… for me – that is what makes it Not Easy to find peace within.

But there is no other way. And it really is that simple.

Just Listen

I am listening with all of my being. Find peace within. I don’t hear replies to most of my questions, so I am taking this one to heart.

(c) 4/28/2018 Lisa Ramsey, My Birthday Tattoo, A black and grey moth with a paintbrush body and the surrounding words Find Peace Within, Designed and created by Kevin of Monique’s Body Art, FL

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What do you think? Was that my own reasonable mind talking back to myself, or did something outside of our known reality put that one thought – find peace within – inside my head?

I am interested to know your thoughts, so please leave a comment.

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Thank you for reading.

Lisa