ToCreate.Art.blog

I’ve been painting for almost two years now. I feel like I have grown as an artist and also as a person since the beginning. But for some reason, I can’t seem to find that one artist inside of me. I am stuck in what I feel is still a hobbyist or beginner level. Not finding that one unique style that defines me.

I know there are no rules to progression in art, or in anything. Many artists find that one artist inside of them quite easily – knowing who they are as an artist, knowing their audience, getting into the groove of knowing their artistic style, and running with it.

And I know there are artists who are happy making art to line their own walls, or just giving them away to family and friends without feeling the need to take their art into the outside world.

But here I am, going from painting to painting, not understanding or “finding” my own groove yet. Who am I as an artist? I would really like to know. I want to eventually make art for those who love to buy art. My art. Art that has its unique touch as distinct as my own fingerprints.

Within my career as a Software Engineer, I was able to discover what it was about the software development lifecycle that gave me wings to become a high quality, high performer in my field. Once I got the details of working as a Software Engineer in real life – as opposed to the years I’ve always wanted to be a Programmer, and then the extra handful of years I was a professional student and underling – it took me little time to fly. I feel this way, and have proven myself many times over in whatever field of work I had undertaken prior to my education, as well.

But I just don’t seem to “get” what my purpose – my outward purpose – in painting is supposed to be.

I feel that I am a fairly artistic person. In my past hobbies, I created beautiful works of creative writing, or got the hang of sewing or cooking rather quickly, and made good-looking or tasty things. But in those hobbies, I was always OK with being “just a hobbyist” and never fretted about taking it to a professional level.

My art is different to me. I LOVE painting, moreso than any other hobby that I involved myself in – quite possibly even more than writing! I WANT to grow as an artist, I WANT to discover my mission.

I want to know who I am. Now that I have time to truly discover myself. I feel my disability happened for a reason. Not just because I neglected my health for so long. There has to be something else I am supposed to do now. And I would like it to be within my art – my artistic soulmate.

For all the artists out there who have found yourself, please help me. What am I missing? What am I failing to see within myself that will help take me to the next level? What was/is your journey like?